Collect Call from... Fall Out Boy

Watch Fall Out Boy at Live Earth 2007!

Day 1 May 17, 2:02 p.m.
One week into the band’s tour with the Academy Is ... , (+44), Cobra Starship and Paul Wall, Wentz calls from Milwaukee, sounding like he just woke up.

“Sorry, dude, but I just woke up. Can I call you back in, like, an hour?”

One hour and 41 minutes later, the phone rings again.

“Sorry about that. For some reason I got up this morning at 8 A.M. Then at 9, I was like, ‘Nope, definitely not up,’ and went back to bed.

“Minneapolis yesterday was cool. We played where the T-Wolves play, and we ate Pizza Lucé — that’s the jam. We would have gone to the Mall of America, but malls are insane for us. I can’t go within 500 feet of a Hot Topic — a sensor goes off inside the store.

“People keep asking why we postponed our tour. I read articles like, ‘They did it so this dude could get off drugs,’ or, ‘So this dude could date that girl.’ The truth is we just needed a rest. Nobody went to rehab. And it wasn’t my fault.”


Day 2 May 18, 2:12 p.m.
Wentz phones from an amphitheater just outside St. Louis.

“Last night we played Milwaukee, which is only about an hour from our hometown [Chicago]. Playing your hometown is bad — everybody comes out of the woodwork — but playing an hour away is even worse, because everyone who comes feels entitled to an hour-long conversation. It’s like, ‘What’s up, Cousin Larry?’

“But my parents came, which was nice. They’re superfans: They have a little pushpin map, and any show within an eight-hour drive, they’ll go. Last night they met my girlfriend [Ashlee Simpson] for the first time. I was nervous, but my mom had two vodka tonics, so everyone got along fine.

“Afterward we watched the Bulls lose in the playoffs. I’m pretty much half-gay, so I don’t follow our sports teams ­until they start winning, but it was still a ­bummer. I actually just got a new bass with the Air Jordan logo on it. We’re waiting for the cease and desist.”


Day 3 May 19, 3:47 p.m.
Wentz rings us from his room at the Sheraton in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

“What a great Saturday. We’re here in scenic Cuyahoga Falls, just outside Cleveland. I’m actually looking at the falls right now. They look a little murky.

“Today is one of our only real off-days. Our next ‘day off’ we have to fly to Arkansas to play the Wal-Mart shareholders meeting. We’re pretty much corporate whores. But since about a third of our CDs are sold through Wal-Mart, we try to keep them happy. Apparently Ma and Pa Walton don’t really like it when I do interviews about kissing boys.

“We had a big moment yesterday: Our friend Dirty and I stole the first golf cart of the tour. We got chased by venue security for, like, 10 minutes before a guy with a supercharged cart caught up to us. I jumped out and ran off; Dirty told me they kept asking about ‘that chick you were with.’ For once, wearing girls’ jeans paid off.”


Day 4 May 20, 3:29 p.m.
Still in Cuyahoga Falls, Wentz checks in to report on his day off while waiting for sound check.

“We had an interesting $40 cab ride to Chili’s last night. The cabbie was like, ‘So, you guys play alternative music? Have you ever thought about bringing Christ into it?’ We told him the Jewish guy in our band probably wouldn’t be too stoked about that.

“We’re really excited to be part of this Honda Civic Tour. It’s all about helping the environment: Nobody’s flying, and there’s recycling at all the venues. They even let us design our own Honda hybrid. We’ll say yes to anything.

“When you’re doing a tour this size, you have to get a corporation to bear the brunt of the cost. People call it selling out, but that’s how we can keep our ticket prices low. The Rolling Stones can charge $200 because their fans are 45 years old. It’s a little harder when your fans are scraping together allowance money.”


Day 5 May 21, 5:53 p.m.
Wentz calls from Cincinnati three hours late, after being mobbed by fans at a local mall.

“Dude, the mall was madness. We always think it’ll be different, but it never is. I mean, I just wanted to go to Forever 21!

“Our fans are crazy that way. Like, last night I got home from the bar, and there was a whole Little League team waiting outside my room. I don’t know how they find me. Right now I’m staying under the name Nick Papagiorgio, from National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation. I used to stay under Weezy F. Baby, Lil Wayne’s nickname, but then I thought, What if somebody shows up and wants to shoot this dude?

“Hey, have you seen Spider-Man 3? I haven’t, but everybody’s been calling me like, ‘Dude, they totally ripped off your look.’ Apparently Spider-Man is emo now. Maybe I should send them a cease and desist.”


Day 6 May 22, 3:22 p.m.
Fresh off a game of Wii Tennis, Wentz calls from an amphitheater near Pittsburgh.

“Did you know in Pittsburgh they say ‘y’ins’ instead of ‘you guys’? Weird!

“Middle America is crazy; but it’s been rad spending time with Ashlee away from the paparazzi. We just ride bikes and go to Chick-fil-A. She’s recording right now, so she can’t come out that often, but it’s nice to be with someone who’s creative and has her own thing going on, so you don’t feel like you’re babysitting. Her dad’s cool, too — as cool as you can be with somebody who’s had 3 million people see him naked online. It’s the first healthy relationship I’ve been in in a long time. I’m trying not to blow it.


Day 7 May 24, 4:10 p.m.
The next day, in Virginia, Wentz cancels because he’s not feeling well. Instead, he phones the following afternoon from the Canadian border, where the band just cleared customs on their way to Montreal.

“Sorry about yesterday. Usually I take an Ambien to go to sleep, but one of our techs gave me something else — I think it’s called Seroquel? Dude, it knocked me out. I slept for 17 hours — he pretty much roofied me.

“Last night was fun. We played Taboo — Ash was technically on my team, but she pretty much just shouts for everyone. Then our tattoo guy came to fix my shit a little. I have a bunch of half-finished tattoos — it’s partly my short attention span and partly because I have the pain tolerance of a 7-year-old. He fixed two — one on my hand, and another … uh, somewhere else. An area people may have seen on the Internet.

“I guess that’s it. I hope this was fun, even though we weren’t, like, shooting Jack Daniel’s into our veins. I just like playing music. If I wanted to do drugs and bang chicks, I would have just stayed in my hometown.”