Essential Vegas
| NIGHTLIFE |
Best Off-Strip Dive Bar
Strip-mall watering hole Chubby’s Pub is a holiday from the cheesy hotel-bar scene. A hipster dive in the best sense, it offers cheap pool and darts, a cigarette machine and the possibility of mingling with local meth heads.
4702 E. Flamingo Rd., 702-458-5774
Best Skanky Strip Club
Déjà Vu boasts “1000’s of Beautiful Girls and 3 Ugly Ones.” But one thing becomes clear when entering this strip club: Those stats are backward. Yet what the dancers lack in looks, they more than make up for in charisma and, well, lack of clothing. Think of them as the stripper Bad News Bears.
3247 Industrial Rd., 702-894-4167
Best Swanky Strip Club
At a whopping 71,000 square feet, the spectacular Sapphire Gentleman’s Club lays claim to the title of the world’s largest strip club. Open 24/7, this Taj Mahal of toplessness features 13 luxurious VIP booths (with private butlers) and a small army of lovely ladies on whom to lavish your sweaty singles.
3025 Industrial Rd., 702-796-6000
Best Place to Get Your Pussycat Dolls Fix, JV-Squad style
The show at the Pussycat Dolls Lounge is burlesque-pop’s version of a farm team — a revue of the sextet’s hits, performed by a troupe of aspiring Dolls even more anonymous than the originals.
3570 Las Vegas Blvd., 702-731-7873
| MUSIC |
Best Hip-Hop Record Store
Vegas isn’t known for its hip-hop scene. But it does boast the impressive HipHopSite, which carries thousands of new and used records and CDs. While there, pick up discs from local faves the Chapter and Qadeer.
4700 S. Maryland Parkway, #2, 702-933-2120
Best Place to Worship Your Favorite Band
God is in the details at The Pearl, the Palms’ brand-new, tri-level, 2,500-capacity cathedral to rock. The sound is perfect, and you’ll never be more than 120 feet from the stage.
4321 W. Flamingo Rd., 702-942-7777
Best Place to See Elton John
You will feel the love tonight at Elton John’s The Red Piano, a greatest-hits dazzler he performs at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace. The show’s video projections, by photographer David LaChapelle, will scorch your retinas.
3570 Las Vegas Blvd., 888-435-8665
Best Places to Catch a Killer
The Beauty Bar on Wednesdays has become the de facto headquarters for local rock musicians like the Killers. To increase your stalker odds, go to Eden, a salon where Brandon Flowers gets his locks shorn.
Beauty Bar: 517 Fremont St., 702-598-1965 Eden: 4300 E. Sunset Rd., Henderson, 702-791-3336
| GAMES |
Best Non-Gambling Establishment in Which to Spend Your Quarters
Before Xbox, our ancestors got their kicks playing something called “pinball.” A shrine to this fading pastime, the Pinball Hall of Fame houses 175 games — all playable — dating back nearly 60 years. Rock out, pinball-style, with the oddly titled Al’s Garage Band Goes on a World Tour.
3330 E. Tropicana, 702-434-9746
Best Place to Play High-Stakes Poker
Live out your World Series of Poker fantasies at Bobby’s Room, the two-table, high-stakes poker area in the Bellagio. If you’ve got the means, you might even get the chance to play against poker legends like Doyle Brunson. Just make sure you’re not attached to your shirt.
3475 S. Las Vegas Blvd., 702-369-5000
Best Place to Gamble on the Cheap
If the big-time casinos wipe out your bank account, leaving you but a shell of a human being with a crippling addiction to gambling and booze, head to Ellis Island Casino & Brewery for their cheap table games ($1 blackjack on weekdays, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.) and $1 microbrews.
4178 Koval Lane, 702-733-8901
| FOOD |
Best Dessert Named After a Pop Star
For a recent birthday, friends of Maroon 5’s Adam Levine asked The Cupcakery to concoct a special cupcake for the occasion. Thus was born the superdelicious Maroon Velvet.
9680 S. Eastern Ave., Suite 100, 702-207-CAKE
Best Fried-Bologna Sandwich
At Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill in Harrah’s Casino, you can discuss your hatred for terrorists and the French over the restaurant’s signature fried-bologna sandwich. Freedom fries sold separately.
3475 S. Las Vegas Blvd., 702-369-5000
Best Secret Restaurant You Can’t Get Into Unless You’re Filthy Rich
If you are a Chinese steel magnate who can casually blow a half-million dollars at the blackjack table, then the Venetian’s top-secret Asian eatery Paisa is an excellent dining choice for you. Naturally, the first rule of Paisa is that you do not talk about Paisa.
3355 S. Las Vegas Blvd., 702-414-1000
| FUN CRAP |
Best Place to Fire an AK, Legally
Channel your inner Charlton Heston at The Gun Store, an indoor shooting range where you can lay waste to paper targets (including a life-size Osama bin Laden) with absurdly lethal firearms like AK47s, M16s and Uzis.
2900 E. Tropicana, 702-454-1110
Best Onstage Violence
Penn & Teller’s magic show at the Rio ends with not one but two bangs: namely the duo shooting each other in the face with .357 Magnums. Things turn out better for them than they did for Siegfried & Roy.
3700 W. Flamingo Rd., 888-746-7784
Best Hotel Suite in Which to Live Out Your Reality-Show Fantasies
So, you and your pals scored big at craps. Take your party back to the $10,000-a-night Real World Suite at the Palms, former home of the decadent 2002 cast. With a lure like that, your very own Trishelle shouldn’t be hard to come by.
4321 W. Flamingo Rd., 866-942-7777
