Dear Superstar: Reverend Run

“Justine, that tootsie Roll’s one point!” The Reverend Run—formerly Joseph Simmons of Hollis, Queens, formerly one-third of the most influential hip-hop act in history, Run-D.M.C., currently the vestment-wearing patriarch of the new MTV hit Run’s House—is chiding his wife for squandering precious Weight Watchers points on candy. Currently shooting its sophomore season, the show establishes the rap-legend-turned-minister as a tough but fair father of five bickering children. Think Ozzy without the brain damage but with, as Blender learns immediately upon entering the Simmonses’ sprawling New Jersey home, an incontinent Maltese named Pal that would make Sharon Osbourne melt.

With 30 million albums sold, Run-D.M.C. retired following the still-unsolved murder of their DJ, Jason “Jam Master Jay” Mizell, in 2002, leaving the Rev. to redefine the term “Father knows best.”

“I’m raising my family in a real cool way,” Run says, summoning Blender to the kitchen. No, we’re not in trouble, although he sure makes it sound that way—but we may be once we’re done bombarding him with questions submitted by you, the readers.

You’ve said you were suicidal in the late ’80s. How close did you come, and what pulled you back from the brink?
SCARVER, BILOXI, MS
It was around ’89 or ’90. People don’t understand, depression is clinical. People think, “The guy has everything, why would he want to kill himself?” But your mind is messed up, it’s missing something. I went as far as getting poison and pouring it into a Coca-Cola can but never drinking it. I’d look out a hotel room window and say, “I’m not jumping out of there.” Everything I considered, I’d think, “That’s gonna hurt.” And I deeply wanted to kill myself. But they were fake attempts. Then around ’91 I started going to church, and this is what it developed into.

On your show, you seem more competitive than your kids, and even elbowed your son in the face during a basketball game. Do you think that’s unsportsmanlike?
DAN_KAR73, LOS ANGELES
He ran into my elbow. I mostly get a great response about how I raise my kids. I’ve got a 90% approval rating.

Describe a typical night in Queens when you were just starting out as a rapper.
MARYMARY, DAYTONA, FL
I did one show at a roller-skating rink. I was 14 or 15 years old — people would come to see Kurtis Blow, then get the added attraction of seeing this young kid rap. There was maybe a little breakdancing, colored Lee jeans. Burgundy jeans, that was important.

Do you believe in evolution?
OLDSKOOL66, LITTLETON, CO
Nah. The Holy Ghost made us humans and made the dinosaurs and made the mosquitoes. I don’t believe a monkey happened to have turned into a man. I don’t believe that.

What was your first rhyme?
MAD_MIKE, DECATUR, IL
My first-ever rhyme was stolen. Back in 1978 or ’79, everyone was kind of sharing. There weren’t any rap records out yet, so nobody cared, nobody knew. And I took mine from [legendary New York hip-hop pioneer] DJ Hollywood: “Do it, do it/Ain’t nothin’ to it/It’s Run, y’all/With the disco fluid.”

What’s the most extravagant thing you’ve ever bought?
MCKIRK, SAUGERTIES, NY
I bought my bishop a Phantom and myself a Phantom. Two Rolls-Royces in one year. But I bought the bishop’s first, that’s important.

Are you mad about Grandmaster Flash being passed over for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year?
T. NEIMAN, MILWAUKEE
The Hall of Fame jerked him. But I’m not mad. I don’t have time to be mad, I’m too much of a metaphysicist. Everything happens for a reason. Just relax, you’ll get yours, everything that’s supposed to come to you will come, guaranteed. Nobody can steal nothing in the universe because it’s all God’s big pocket—you can take it and run real fast, but you’re running on God’s earth.

Do you think today’s hip-hop promotes un-Christian values?
HEFFALUMP, BRIDGEPORT, CT
I’m not a judging type of guy. It’s all God’s backyard. If he wanted to shut down weed and homosexuality, he could do it. So I’m not taking a stance against profanity, I’m not taking a stance against drugs. I’m into hip-hop. I’m just here doing what I can to promote good values, like be on a TV show as a happy guy raising a family.

Where were you the first time you heard yourself on the radio?
JMJ_LIVES, ROME, NY
At my house late one night, “It’s Like That” was on “Mr. Magic’s Rap Attack” on WBLS. My thoughts: How many people in this world just heard that? And did they change the station?

Whose idea was it to remake “Walk This Way” with Aerosmith?
AAA66, HELENA, MT
It definitely wasn’t Aerosmith’s idea; they didn’t even know who we were. We used to rap over the “Walk This Way” beat, and Rick Rubin walked in and said we should just make the whole record over. I was like, “What is this hillbilly gibberish?” I had no idea what they were singing about, and we didn’t want all those loud guitars; we just wanted the beat and a little bit of the riff. Aerosmith got as high as they possibly could and then were falling off, so maybe we were part of God’s plan to give them a boost. But we just lit a match under a firecracker that was gonna explode anyway. People say that started rap-rock, but “Rock Box” and “King of Rock” came before that and they were on MTV, too. “Walk This Way” was just the pop hit.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done in a hotel room?
PETER_PIPER, MCKEESPORT, PA
Me and D.M.C. woke up, looked at a warm 40-ounce bottle of beer, poured it into a bucket of ice and walked down the hallway drinking straight out of the Hilton bucket. I’ve done far stupider things in hotel rooms, but this is as far as I’m gonna let you know. That is the answer that Run should be telling you now, as a reverend.

Who was the first person you ever saw wear sneakers without laces?
NELEMAN, TOLEDO, OH
Some dude in Hollis who just got out of jail. He had the laces around his neck and looked extremely cool, like, “I’ll put ’em in later.” But he never put ’em in later. It’s like wearing your pajamas to work or something. That’s the first I saw, but it was definitely a jail thing.

What are the three most important things you try to teach your children?
RYAN_K, CHARLESTON, MO
Be thankful, number one. Learn to be content, number two. Talk to God, number three. Have a conversation with God and wait for a response.

Run-D.M.C. once filed for bankruptcy — how did you lose your money, and how did you get it back?
JOMON78, CANYON LAKE, CA
We were having contractual problems that made us unable to take care of what we had to take care of. It was just business, the way Trump goes bankrupt every time he has a casino problem. Only rich people go bankrupt—we weren’t broke. You do what your accountants say is best to get out of it.

When was the last time you watched your 1988 movie Tougher Than Leather?
BEASTIE_BOI, CARBONDALE, IL
The day it came out. We filmed it ourselves — how terrible is it? That is a dumb, dumb movie. But we thought we were doing something.

Are you still in touch with Darryl “D.M.C.” McDaniels?
J. FLAN, ROCHESTER, MI
Just talked to him. But we’re retired now. I’m not trying to relive what we did in the ’80s. That was a beautiful time, but it’s over.

What’s your biggest vice?
KING_OF_ROCK, COLUMBIA, MO
Ice cream. Used to be weed, now it’s ice cream.

Are you making Osbournes money yet?
MRIDLEY, SOUTH PORTLAND, ME
I’m not saying that. We just got picked up for a second season, we have a hit show, it has great ratings. But I haven’t seen the Osbournes’ contract. There’s your answer.

You end every episode of Run’s House in the tub. What’s the secret to a great bubble bath?
QUEENSLOVE, FOREST HILLS, NY
I only put the bubbles in so you don’t see me naked. But I use sacred mixed oils by the prophet E. Bernard Jordan. I take spiritual baths.