When Will Your Favorite Pop Star Croak?
Posted Sunday 08/15/2004 1:00 AM in
Guide
by
| CURRENT AGE | 29 |
| Average American’s Life Expectancy | 79 |
| CATEGORY | YEARS ADDED/SUBTRACTED |
| African-American female | +3 |
| May have had some work done (fondness for self-improvement) | +5 |
| Maybe a little too much work done… | –5 |
| High-risk sexual behavior, often involving guns…if her lyrics are to be believed | –9 |
| Perjury indictments (from her posse’s run-in with Foxy Brown’s posse) | –1 |
| First female member of Junior M.A.F.I.A. (providing a sense of family she never had) | +2 |
| Impulse to expose self in front of cameras (empty attention-seeking) | –1 |
| Role in Scary Movie left on cutting-room floor (thwarted ambitions) | –1 |
| Hard-knock life: abusive dad, homeless at age 9, drug use | –7 |
| Mourned the death of her soul mate, Biggie Smalls | –1 |
| Too confrontational for her own good? “I wanna start burnin’ down niggaz’ cribs!” | –1 |
| ESTIMATED LIFE EXPECTANCY | 63 |
| PROJECTED YEAR OF DEATH | 2038 |
Gerontologist Dr. Demko says: “Despite a larger-than-life, high-maintenance lifestyle, Kim’s anger management has allowed her to survive a rough upbringing and find huge financial success.”
