Dear Superstar: Lars Ulrich

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You famously made former Metallica guitarist Dave Mustaine cry in Some Kind of Monster. Who else have you made weep?
addictedjane, Ann Arbor, MI

My kids, myself, my father. But with Dave Mustaine, man, that was entry-level crying. He wasn’t bawling or anything. I have not heard a word from Mustaine since then. I like Dave Mustaine. I think he’s far more of a musical genius than he gets credit for. I’d love to hear from him.

In 1986, you escaped the bus crash that killed your bassist Cliff Burton. What’s the second closest you’ve come to dying?
lrn06, Falls Church, VA

It was at the Oakland airport, maybe ’02 or ’03, and some would argue I came closer to dying then. Me and my wife Skylar and the kids had been on a flight for hours without food and I was starving, so I went over to a pizza joint. I just swallowed the pizza and part of it went down the wrong pipe. For 30 seconds I couldn’t breathe, until somebody came up from behind me and did the full-on Heimlich thing—the pizza did a long-distance jump and landed 12 feet away. I turned around, and saw it was my wife who just saved my life.
 
You hazed your last bassist, Jason Newsted, pretty hard—raiding his hotel room, spreading rumors that he was gay, covering him in meat pies. Why didn’t you haze the new guy, Robert Trujillo?
somnambulator, Gillette, WY

Probably ’cause he replaced a guy who left voluntarily, and Jason replaced a guy who was killed. We were 23 years old and didn’t know how to deal with death. It wasn’t as mean-spirited as it was made out to be—it was just good, silly fun. I’m sure Jason didn’t mind being the center of attention once and a while.

You’re an art collector. Is that the gayest thing about you?
bloodypacific, Hauppauge, NY

No. You should see my catwalk impression—I can strut. But I never thought I was gay, never for a moment. Sometimes as a dare I’ve kissed other guys. Me and Kirk have kissed in front of a camera to get a reaction. It’s kind of fun because it pushes people’s buttons, but sexually, it doesn’t interest me.


On April 20, 2004, in Long Island, New York, you gave me your sweaty, snotty towel before playing “Sad But True.” The next time I see you, would you like it back?
dawn79, Chicago

Thank you for asking. But I’m OK. We have a brand-new supply of towels that just need to be snotted up and sweated on. Coming soon to a town near you.