Dear Superstar: Noel Gallagher

Why can’t I ever find any good new rock bands? Every time I turn on the radio, it’s nothing but rap. What the fuck is happening?
Mph1978, Amsterdam, NY

There’s still a lot of good rock & roll: Black Mountain are incredible, Mando Diao, a band from North London called the Jim Jones Revue. Unfortunately, we live in the age of rap and R&B. Don’t listen to the radio, that’s my advice.

I’ve read that you and your brother don’t speak to your dad. What was the last straw that made you decide to end the relationship?
Athomepap, Anaheim, CA

He was a violent man, and violence toward my mother was the last straw. We were teenagers. It makes me fervently believe in the cosmic law of karma—little did he know that 15 years from that point, his two sons were going to be in one of the biggest fucking bands ever to come out of England. I sit and chuckle about that sometimes.

What will Amy Winehouse be doing in two years?
Whuddashamey, Munster, IN

Who gives a shit? People like that have got no pride in themselves. My message to her would be: Go make another record, or did the pressure of this one fry your little brain so you became a junkie? I don’t care for fuck-ups.
 
When will you finally make a solo album?
Pil, Nuuk, Greenland

I’d like for us to do separate projects after this record. We’d all have to agree on it, so it will probably never happen. I’ve got loads of new songs. Somewhat predictably, they’re all brilliant.
 
I was close to the front at your Arena Newcastle gig on the Don’t Believe the Truth tour. I had a sleeveless Nike vest on. You looked at me funny. Did the top make me look gay?
Marley_Urwin, Newcastle  Upon Tyne, U.K.

I would have thought so, yeah. Sleeve­less tops are a no-no.
 
I read you held up a corner shop when you were a kid. What kind of weapon did you have? And what’s a corner shop?
Charleebitez, Janesville, MN

I didn’t “hold up” the corner shop. We don’t do weapons in England. A corner shop is just a grocery store on the corner. Two ladies ran it, and I think we robbed a load of cigarettes and sold them to buy drugs. [Looks guilty.] I got caught. 

What’s the most important thing for me to remember if I get into a fight?
TimBoslyce, Richmond, VA

Make sure the other guy’s not carrying a knife. Do I still fight Liam? Yeah. The only way anyone will win is who dies first. When he’s 87 years old, if he dies before me, I’ll say, “See?”

How would your third album, Be Here Now, have turned out if you hadn’t discovered cocaine?
Nathanputtick, Melbourne, Australia

It would have been a lot shorter, and it would have had better lyrics. The royalties were coming in from Morning Glory—we were rich, and we went bananas, doing more drugs than any Colombian. Can I just point out that Be Here Now did sell 9.5 million copies? If any band sells 9.5 million albums this year, I’ll fucking shit in my trousers.