Blender’s Heat-Seeking, Sweat-Dripping, Pool-Hopping Summer Music Blowout

Weezer
Drummer Pat Wilson on how to gussy up a crappy beer (hint: little umbrella!)

We’re at a barbecue and your new CD comes on—what happens?
Mayhem. They will drop their shish kabobs and look like Tasmanian devils. I think people who are fans of our first two records will be very, very pleased.

Most painful place you’ve ever been sunburned?
I fell asleep and burned the bottoms of my feet. I couldn’t walk for a day and a half, and I was just mainlining aloe and painkillers.

Do you like drinks with umbrellas?
Maybe once I had, like, a blue drink with an umbrella in it in Hawaii. For me, any kind of shit beer is fine. I often put an umbrella in a Coors Light.

Who would you rather see in a Speedo: Obama or McCain?
For entertainment value, McCain. But if I want to limit the damage to my retinas, Obama.

What sport would you like to see added to the Summer Olympics?
Here’s a new category: let these people juice up as much as they want, and let’s see just where the limits of human potential really are. Maybe we can find some people who can do like a 40-foot-long jump or something.

Ever gotten lucky in a Jacuzzi?
I’ve gotten lucky in a Jacuzzi, all right. The good thing is you can stay underwater if you know where the air is coming out; you can just inhale.

Wow. So you’re talking about underwater Jacuzzi banging?
Basically.

What would you do if a stingray leaped out of the water and tried to kill you?
I would beat the shit out of it. I’d kill it and then I’d eat it, as a warning to all future sting rays who feel they need to come up out of the water and fuck with me.

Weezer’s new disc, Weezer (a.k.a. The Red Album), is due out June 24.