Collect Call From: Flight of the Conchords

More Flight of the Conchords photos

Day 1
March 3, 2:32 p.m.
Conchords cofrontman Jemaine Clement (the one with the glasses) calls us from the Ritz-Carlton in Phoenix.

“We’ll be in the U.S. for almost eight months—we’re doing some gigs, then I’m shooting a movie, then we’re writing the next season of our show, then we start filming. Before we left New Zealand, I made sure to buy a Kiwi dictionary. America is confusing, spelling words like organiser with a zed. I’m trying to stick to all my original spellings.

“Today is an off day. We were thinking of going to the Grand Canyon, but we found out it’s a four-hour drive, so it would take eight hours total. And that doesn’t even include the looking part. I’ve never been to the desert, so to me it’s exotic. It sounds like cowboys. Maybe we can drink at a saloon, or rob a train. Except trains are pretty fast these days. And all we have is a rental car.”

Day 2
March 4, 3:41 p.m.
Bret McKenzie (the short one) rings from Phoenix, where the band has just finished sound check.
 
“Last night I watched The Golden Compass in my room. I don’t know if you’ve seen the film, but each human has a guardian demon that takes the shape of an animal. They weren’t very demonic, though. My demon would be a lot more troubled—like a talking bottle of booze that sneaks up on me and tricks me with a riddle."

“There’s very little going on in Phoenix. I think you need to be on meth to enjoy it—they have billboards everywhere trying to get people off meth. Yesterday we went to a pawnshop looking for instruments. Turns out they also had a lot of cheap weapons. Next to the trombones there were lethal crossbows. There was a gold-plated AK-47, and then a nice ukulele. The flutes were next to the swords—because you never know when you’ll need to kill someone with a sword and then, you know … get out of there. By pretending to be a flautist."

“We’re here because the company that makes those little cable boxes, Comcast,
is having a convention, and tonight HBO is putting on a party for them. We’re never sure what our demographic is, but it turns out we’re quite hot right now in the cable-distribution scene.”