The Blender Guide to Celebrity Rehab Facilities

S  U  P  E  R      D  E  L  U  X  E

The Red–Carpet Treatment
Promises Malibu
(Malibu, California)

Attractions: Activities include on–site yoga, acupuncture and group therapy. Play tennis with Hollywood legends like Matthew Perry (reportedly treated for alcohol and Vicodin addiction in 2001) or shoot hoops with Mel Gibson (alcohol, 2006); Britney spears finally completed rehab here in 2007. Stroll the pristine Malibu beach, or take Promises’ specialty treatment: equine therapy, described by Hadas, a Promises admissions counselor, as “psychosomatic therapy in the presence of a horse.”

Accommodations: Rooms feature 500–thread–count sheets, ocean views and ­fireplaces. Since opening in 1989, the boutique spa feel has attracted generations of glamorous addicts, including Kelly Osbourne, Diana Ross, Robert Downey Jr. and Charlie Sheen. “It’s very serene,” Hadas says. “If you need to take a moment to take a moment, you can.”

Cost: $49,000 per month

Relapse at: Speakeasy–styled The Hideout, seven miles down the beautiful Pacific Coast Highway


The Rustic Retreat for Cowboy Junkies
The Meadows
( Wickenburg, Arizona )

Attractions: A former dude ranch, The Meadows has been a popular getaway since it opened its doors in 1978, but it really shot to fame in 2005, after Kate Moss checked in to kick her cocaine problem. The Meadows also offers treatments for sexual obsession and compulsive masturbation. Pete Doherty, Ron Wood and Whitney Houston have all signed the guest book.

Accommodations: “It’s rustic,” says Connie, an intake coordinator. “It’s not a five–star hotel, but it is five–star treatment.” All meals are sugar and caffeine free, so you’re almost guaranteed to drop a few pounds. “I didn’t want to leave,” Backstreet Boy AJ McLean said in 2002. “I’m actually considering going back for a week.”

Cost: Around $39,100 per month

Relapse at: The Rancher Bar in Wickenburg. “Thursday nights are pretty busy,” says Katie, the bartender. “That’s when we have shuffleboard tournaments.”


The Canyon Clean–Up
Wonderland Center
( West Hollywood, California )

Attractions: Nestled among three acres of rustic trails and lush foliage in the heart of Los Angeles, Wonderland provides “sober companions” to accompany guests on movie sets, on tour or to their children’s birthday parties. You can be treated for ­crystal–meth addiction, shop in Beverly Hills and be on set for call time — all in the same day! Treatments for gambling, sex and shopping addictions are also available.

Accommodations: Enjoy a country–club feel in Wonderland’s stylish midcentury–­modern furnishings, featuring incredible views of the Valley. Guests might chill out on the sundeck with Lindsay Lohan (here in January after passing out in a hotel hallway following the Golden Globes) or take a canyon hike with former heavyweight champ (and coke addict) Mike Tyson.

Cost: $35,000 and up per month

Relapse at: The Casting Office, on Cahuenga Boulevard, where David Lee Roth is rumored to hang out

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