The 2009 Oasis Awards

Yesterday we told you that Noel Gallagher, the big chief and essentially sole songwriter of Oasis, was leaving the band following a Friday night confrontation with his brother Liam that left the band in tatters (not to mention Liam's acoustic guitar, which Noel reportedly smashed to bits).

Confirmation from Noel came swiftly via an online message. Seemingly, this is it—no more Oasis (until the reunion, that is). Which makes this a good time to look back and take stock, as it were. Let's present some Oasis-specific awards to, erm, Oasis, shall we? They never were darlings of awards show, so it feels nice to give something now. It's ironic, see? Which in itself is ironic, because Oasis loathed overwrought, ironic rock. OK enough analysis/irony, let's start handing these things out.

Best Use Of The Words 'Gin And Tonic' In A Lyric
SUPERSONIC

This was the very first Oasis single, released in 1994 to nationwide British acclaim and enthusiastic nods from American hipsters. The band's first two US tours saw them play to half-filled clubs with the same swagger and attitude that they might have, and eventually did, bring to arenas. America was tough to crack then; we were still in a post-Nirvana, heavy guitar-powered haze of flannel. Said Liam, "Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it." He was maybe right, definitely funny.

Most Autobiographical Song
ROCK N' ROLL STAR

The first song on debut Definitely Maybe. Atop layers of soaring, distorted guitar, Oasis deliver their statement of purpose: "Tonight, I'm a rock n' roll star." Can't say they weren't being honest about their goals.

Guitar Riff That Sounds Like T. Rex's "Bang-A-Gong"
CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL

Oasis wore their influences proudly; they were never the most original bunch. Nowhere was this more evident than on this early track.

Piano Riff That Sounds Like John Lennon's "Imagine"
DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER

Oasis wore their influences proudly; they were never the most original bunch. Nowhere was this more evident than on this early track.

Song Title That References Landmark Postwar British Play
DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER

Oasis wore their influences proudly; they were never the most original bunch. Nowhere was this more evident than on this early track.

Song Title Stolen From A George Harrison Soundtrack
WONDERWALL

Yet another example of Fab Four-related pilferage. But this song broken them in America. George hated Oasis, by the way.

Best Song That Features Both Liam And Noel On Lead Vocals
ACQUIESCE

Following the success of their debut, fans wondered if the band could possibly top the songwriting success of the first album. Months before the release of the follow-up, What's The Story Morning Glory, those fans had their answer in the form of the "Some Might Say" single, which featured not only the strong A-side, but this stunning rocker that featured Liam singing the verses, and Noel the choruses. Oasis soon became known for the quality of their non-album tracks, which were eventually collected on The Masterplan release. And speaking of B-sides...

Best Oasis B-Side
ACQUIESCE
It just is. A tidbit: the chorus of "(What's The Story) Morning Glory" can be heard distantly at the start of the studio version. But here's a live version from Oasis' first UK arena tour.

First String-Laden Lengthy Epic
WHATEVER

The winter following the release of Definitely Maybe, Oasis released this syrupy but soaring epic that swung for the fences. Noel reportedly held off on recording this song until they could afford to give it the proper instrumentation and studio treatment.

Second String-Laden Lengthy Epic
ALL AROUND THE WORLD

The Be Here Now album closes with this lengthy track that aims to make "Whatever" look like a hidden track throwaway. Again, Noel reportedly held off on recording this song until they could afford to give it the proper instrumentation and studio treatment. Not as good as "Whatever." Later used for an AT&T ad that you probably heard hundreds, or thousands, of times earlier this decade.

New Oasis Song That Is Actually Quite Excellent
THE SHOCK OF THE LIGHTNING
Since their first three albums, Oasis have continued to release sturdy if less mind-blowing albums. Their most recent Dig Out Your Soul, though, was nearly as good as their 90s work.

Best Recorded Interview Ever
WIBBLING RIVALRY
A the height of their initial burst of fame, Noel and Liam sat down for this NME interview that was so hilarious, it was released as a single. It reached No. 52. Here's a transcription—you'll need it.

That's it for the 2009 Oasis Awards. Come back soon, lads, we miss you already.