Would You Like To Purchase A Michael Jackson Belt Buckle?

You hear musicians all the time say, "It's about the music, man." And it is. But know what? It's also about the benjamins. Which means, of course, that it's all about the branding.

And the merch. "Merch" is short for merchandising. Years ago, only those in the industry used this shortened term. Now, consumers/customers/concert-goers say "merch" as much as any industry Reuben Kinkaid might. And naturally, the breadth of merch out there is extraordinary, ranging from tasteless to clever. Let's look at some recent examples of merch, starting with tasteless!

The Michael Jackson King Of Pop First Event Shirt

The shirt that was supposed to be sold at the first—and only the first—Michael Jackson show in London. Since there will never be a first show, this'll be on sale forever, right? Wrong!

"Featuring a bold number 1 on the back to memorialize the first Michael Jackson show, this shirt was to have been sold at the O2 only on July 13th, 2009. In keeping with that theme, this shirt will only be sold until midnight July 13th, and then retired forever."

They neglect to mention you'll be able to later find these on eBay, at ridiculous prices.

The Michael Jackson London 09 Belt Buckle

There's nothing on this belt buckle that communicates "London" or "09," but everyone needs something to hold their pants up—why not use one of these $20 numbers?

Kid Rock's Badass Beer

Now we're talking. The Michigan everyman will be selling his Badass brand of beer at his shows next week at Comerica Park in Detroit. So, Mr. Ritchie, what's the brew like?

"People that like premium beers and Guinness is their beer of choice, they will not like this. I want this to be like the beer I like to drink. You grab it, you share it with your friends, it's refreshing, it's cold, it gives you a good buzz. Done."

Done, indeed! No pic yet, sadly.

Mastodon Premium Lager

This isn't technically merch, just a fun one-off from German brewer Mahr's Brau, but it's got Mastodon, and it's beer, so it makes the list. Supposedly, only about 200 bottles of these were made. They were probably gone in about 100 minutes.

Dirty Projectors' Bitte Orca On Cassette

Unless you have an old car, or prefer to listen to music exclusively on pre-1986 ghetto blasters, you probably don't listen to many cassettes. Which is exactly why Brooklyn art-rockers the Dirty Projectors are releasing their latest album on cassette. No one listens to tapes anymore, so this is cool. Stick it on your shelf and read a Japanese art magazine while you "listen" to it.

Cheap Trick's The Latest On 8 Track

Thought cassettes were old school? How about freaking 8-tracks. Once the darling of 1970s audiophiles, these sizable cartridges were exiled the island of misfit formats after good cassettes, and then compact discs, emerged in the '80s. Cheap Trick, of course, came of age at the height of the 8 track, which is why they're releasing their new album on this ancient format. Wash your hair with Breck and read an old Playboy while you "listen" to it.