Canadians: Gene Simmons Would Like To Go Into Business With You

There are pros and cons to being Canadian. On the pro side, life in Canada is as civil as it is anywhere in the world, powered by an educated populace that created nationalized healthcare and that takes environmental issues seriously. On the con side, Celine Dion.

So you can imagine that Canadians are following a particular piece of music news with an opportunistic eye: a foreigner, an American, wants to launch a label comprised solely of Canadians.

On the pro side, this is a much-needed injection of foreign capital and investment in homegrown talent.

On the con side, the investor is Gene Simmons.

Whoa whoa whoa, that's a joke. The con part, that is. But yes, we mean that Gene Simmons, the man who made a career out of sticking out his abnormally long tongue and playing bass guitars shaped like axes. Who also has possibly appeared in surprisingly mundane amateur movies. A founding member of KISS.

THAT Gene Simmons.

So Simmons must be Canadian, right? Wrong - he's American. Maybe he was born in Canada? Nope, Israel, actually.

Well then what does he have to do with Canada? Nothing, yet... but he wants in on toonies and Timmy's!

On his site, Simmons reveals the details of his (and Universal Canada's) quest: to discover the Great White North's greatest new talent, and to nurture the kind of success that will keep homegrown acts home (as opposed to, say, moving to La La Land). Simmons Records plans to sign three new acts in its first year of operation.

The reaction has not been entirely positive. And, naturally, Gene has fired back, displaying, at the least, a passion for the project. Quoth Gene to the good people of Canada, to the honest and hard-working men of the prairies, to the weathered fisherman of the Maritimes, to the stunningly prog and sci-fi metal-obsessed denim-wearers of Quebec: "Why here? Because you actually DO have the talent. And now, you have a WAY. ME."

It's a little arrogant, of course, given that Canada has undergone a rather large music renaissance in the past decade, nurturing indie bands like Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene to global success and launching arena giants like Nickelback onto the motorways of the world, all while lovingly harbo(u)ring healthy scenes in cities like Toronto and, especially, Montreal.

Canada was doing just fine without Gene Simmons, but Hey, the more, the merrier. But Gene better watch out - it looks like Kanye West already has his eye on up and coming Canadian bands.