Boy George Really Wanted To Hurt Defendant, Sings Judge

Boy George, the talented but often whimsically misguided former singer, current DJ, and legendary front-"man" of 80s chart-toppers Culture Club, has been sentenced to fifteen months in the pokey following a conviction for false imprisonment. If you'll recall, the incident in question went down thusly:


1. Boy George meets Audun Carlsen through a gay social-networking site.

2. They meet up at George's flat and, you know, have a pornographic photo shoot.

3. George suspects Carlsen of stealing stuff off his laptop.

4. George invites Carlsen over a second time and, naturally, handcuffs him to a bed with the help of a second man and beats Carlsen while George goes looking for evidence.

5. Carlsen escapes and gets the hell out of George's flat wearing only boxers, shoes and the handcuffs.


Supporters of Boy George insist that George is a kind-hearted gentleman who is "the antithesis of the haughty, bullying star." Judge David Radford, though, was having none of it:

"[Carlsen] was deprived of his liberty and human dignity without warning or proper explanation to him of its purpose, length or purported justification."

Seeing as how Carlsen escaped onto the street in boxers and handcuffs, I'll go ahead and agree with the judge that Carlsen was deprived of dignity. Yeah, no dignity there.

And so Boy George is off to the slammer for fifteen long months. Suddenly, the title, and lyrics to, Culture Club's 1984 hit Miss Me Blind, seem all the more poignant:

Bet you know how
To have some fun
And then you turn it around on me

Damn... those words have so much more meaning now. Boy George, real name George O'Dowd, you screwed up, and now you must pay the price. See you in fifteen months. Until then, we will, yes, Miss You Blind: