Don't Hassle The Hag: Merle Haggard Will Sue You

Country singer Merle Haggard loves the environment, but don't go using his name to save it.   Haggard has sued an environmental awareness group who he claims has illegally used his name and likeness to raise money.  The group, Green Train, produces a concert-and-train tour whose aim is to educate the public about environmental issues.  Haggard had donated $20,000 and agreed to perform, but apparently Green Train took it a little too far and made it seem like this was a Merle Haggard joint; according to the lawsuit, they plastered his name and image all over their materials, and even forged his signature on solicitation materials and "personal letters." The letters apparently went to big names and friends in the entertainment industry, including Dolly Parton, Jewel, Vince Gill, and Amy Grant.  Oooops! 

But wait a minute, if it was all for a good cause, what's the big deal?  Well, it gets worse: Haggard's suit also claims that the group's founder, Robert K. Wolf, used "substantial amounts" of money it raised for his own personal use.  Imagine how angry Dolly Parton is going to be when she finds out about this! She'll probably head over to Wolf's house and give him a firm talking-to, and then slap him upside the head with one of her gigantic boobs.