Coldplay: Guys, Hey, There Must Be Some Mistake

It must be pretty embarrassing to be accused of plagiarism. Not only does the accusation charge that you are a thief, but the implication also exists that you are either too untalented or lazy to create original work. Basically, you are a cheater. And possibly, you are making money by cheating.

Charges of plagiarism are precisely what Chris Martin and his merry band of Coldplay dudes are experiencing at the moment, thanks to sharp-eared fans of guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani, guitar teacher to the stars (Metallica's Kirk Hammett, among many others) and successful musician in his own right. Satriani has filled in with bands such as Deep Purple, in addition to recording many albums of instrumental rock that makes guitarheads drool all over their Ibanez six-strings and Peavey amps. Satriani claims that Coldplay's Viva La Vida sounds like his song If I Could Fly.

He's right; it does. And he's pissed: he claims to have written If I Could Fly for his wife, and that hearing Viva La Vida was like a "dagger to the heart." Alright, alright, Joe, we get it, you love your wife, fine. But what does Coldplay think?

Until yesterday, they were mum, but now there's a statement to peruse. But what does said statement mean? Let's look:


If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him.

Oh sh*t.


Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write the song 'Viva la Vida.' 

We wrote Viva La Vida, which we copied from Joe's song If I Could Fly.


We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavors.

Non-legal endeavors, that is.


With the greatest possible respect to Joe Satriani, if there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him.

Oh sh*t.


Clearly, Coldplay, after taking a few days to think about it, decided to go with the calm, measured response. They don't insult Satriani; they dont throw any darts back. Which is very pro of them. It also means they realize that they might be in deep sh*t as a result of the fact that Viva La Vida sounds exactly like that Joe Satriani tune. Oops.

Luckily, Coldplay is rich. The most likely outcome of this is a settlement, possibly based on the Flaming Lips/Cat Stevens model. When presented with accusations that Lips tune Fight Test sounded like Father and Son by Cat Stevens, frontman Wayne Coyne admitted the similarity without admitting knowledge of Father and Son, and moved to split all profits from the song with Stevens. Coldplay aren't yet taking such a humble tone, but you can bet their lawyers will.

Why were the Flaming Lips so cool about it? Because they've got cred for miles, and they had nothing to hide; it was an honest coincidence. Coldplay, on the other hand, are pushing back, but not too hard. Their statement, condescending as it is, saves them face yet also avoids burning any legal settlement bridges.

So who are the winners and losers in all this?


Coldplay: Losers. Once again, their integrity is called into question. Plus, they'll likely have to pay out money to Joe Satriani for many years.

Coldplay Fans: Losers. Once again, their integrity is called into question, though at least they won't have to pay out money to Joe Satriani for many years.

Joe Satriani: Winner. This is the most press he's ever gotten.

Joe Satriani's Wife: Loser. Through no fault of her own, she is now associated with Coldplay.

Mankind: Loser. Not clear why yet, but it just feels that way.