Off The Sandwall: Michael Jackson Sued By Sheikh

It's been a heavy few months in the news. We had a big presidential race. Russia's foreign policy showed unnerving signs of boldness. The economy teetered on the brink of full collapse.

So you'll excuse us for briefly forgetting that a certain Michael Jackson has been fathfully continuing his bizarre lifepath while we were all too shellshocked to notice. The latest news from MJ-Land? He is being sued. Which, in itself, is not so bizarre.

Except that the plaintiff is a son of the King Of Bahrain.

Which makes this all far more interesting that it otherwise would be. Here's the gist: Sheikh Abdulla Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa, a bigwig in Bahrain, became pals with Jackson following his 2005 acquittal on child abuse charges. He put up a grateful Jackson, allowing MJ to escape the watchful eyes of the US media. He also put up Jackson's kids, plus his personal staff. That's nice.

He also wrote some songs and presented them to Michael. That's right - the Sheikh wrote some jams, and wanted MJ to record them. One was Katrina single meant to benefit victims. This recording made some news a couple of years ago but was never released. Why? Who knows. Probably, Jackson thought the song was a stinker.

But the Sheikh kept writing, in the hopes that Jackson would record the songs, revive his career, and elevate the Sheikh to Quincy Jones status in the United Arab Emirates. But it wasn't to be: Jackson split, and no new songs were recorded.

Which would still be fine if it weren't for the fact that the Sheikh says that contracts were signed, monies were transferred, and that Jackson owes him an album. And an autobiography. And a stage play (?!).

So what we now have is a 4.7 million pound lawsuit going down in the London High Court. The best part? Jackson claims he is too ill to travel. He's even got a doctor's note to "prove" it. He has offered video testimony. The Sheikh's legal team is saying suck it up, bandage yourself up, and show up in court. The judge will decide Thursday whether Jackson can submit a video testimony, or whether he must fly to England to appear in person.

Actually, the doctor's note isn't the best part. The best part is that Jackson claims that the million of pounds he received from the Sheikh were "gifts," and not advance payments for recordings.

So to summarize: Jackson found the one guy in the world that didn't think he was a creep, and accepted his hospitality. Then, he (allegedly) accepted a ton of dough, even though he (allegedly) knew that he was supposed to record songs, and write a book, and be in a play or something. Then he split for the States when things cooled down for him, without having recorded any of those songs, or penned his memoir, or written or acted in a play. And now the Sheikh is suing MJ. But Jackson says he can't travel because he is sick and he's got a doctor's note to prove it.

You know, even if the economy DOES plunge into a depression, we will never, EVER again overlook any news that involves Michael Jackson.