Listen: Every Famous Female Singer Ever on the Same Song

Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Fergie, Sheryl Crow, Melissa Etheridge, Natasha Bedingfield, Miley Cyrus, Leona Lewis, Carrie Underwood, Keyshia Cole, Leann Rimes, Ashanti and Ciara
"Just Stand Up"

When some of the greatest female pop vocalists of all time come together — as on this new cancer research charity single — flaws become apparent. It's inevitable. Sheryl Crow is even more boring. Miley Cyrus possesses even less talent. Other facts come to light: Do we really need both Ashanti and Ciara here? Carrie Underwood is way more recognizable than Leann Rimes. Keyshia Cole has a long way to go to become the next Mary. Leona Lewis has an even longer way to go if she wants to be the next Mariah. Rihanna and Fergie should put out a duets album. Beyonce is still the best. And Melissa Etheridge's hammy rock-isms will add old-school chutzpah to any and every song. Now all we need is a "We Are the World"/"I'm F*cking Ben Affleck"-style video with everyone in the same studio wearing the same ugly headphones.