R. Kelly Sex Trial: Significant 69

R. Kelly sat in the corner of the jury room, pressing a Kleenex against his face to block out a familiar odor: urine. A heavy rain had flooded the Prohibition-era courthouse’s pipes, and Kelly was seated near the men’s room as he watched the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial. After several reeking hours, a sheriff’s deputy was called in with a can of Lysol.

Jury selection was hardly more pleasant for Kelly. Several citizens who might have been sympathetic to his case were sent home with a check for $17.20 and a thank you from Judge Vincent Gaughan. One elderly man was dismissed after he remarked that “nature has already provided an age of consent: puberty.”

Then there was the star-struck woman who called Kelly “the Pied Piper. I hear he’s a musical genius.”

“You can say negative stuff,” the judge prodded.

“Him and Jay-Z don’t get along,” she allowed.

Another guy was so eager to serve on Kelly’s jury that he offered to cancel a flight to visit his parents on Memorial Day. Asked if he could guarantee Kells a fair trial, he vowed “Yes!” Asked if he could give the prosecution a fair trial, he hesitated, then mumbled, “Probably.”

Three jurors were chosen today. 1) A Baptist minister’s wife. 2) A telecommunication company employee who attends the Christian Life Center who says he hates seeing skin magazines behind the counter at 7-Eleven. Only the final juror offered a promising omen for Kelly. 3) He’s a father of two who knows the R&B star from “music, entertainment, media, and child pornography.” His juror number? 69.

Edward McClelland

For complete trial coverage click here.