Coachella 2008: The Best of the Fest

With five stages, 130 bands and approximately 7,000 cumulative hours of music (of which we saw about 30), Coachella can overload even the hardiest of festivalgoers. Here, we sort through our fried cortexes to highlight the weekend’s winners.

Most Mind-Blowing Set
Prince was fantastic, but for sentimental reasons we’re going to have to give it to the reunited Portishead. As My Morning Jacket’s Jim James said, “Whenever I listen to Portishead, I feel like I’m trapped in a horrific funhouse and demons are trying to kill me.” (He meant it as a compliment.)

Most Functional Stage Makeup
Islands frontman Nick Thorber’s white face paint, which doubled handily as SPF-8,000 sunscreen.

Coolest Art Installation
The sonic forest and inhabitable steampunk treehouse were both pretty cool, but we have to go with the massive S-shaped sculpture made from two decommissioned 18-wheelers. According to its creators, it’s a statement about “a global oil industry at the nexus of our world’s political, social, and environmental systems.” We just think big trucks are bad ass.

Most Incongruous/Awesomest Walk-On Music
Tres cool DJ duo Justice taking the stage to Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.”

Least Cool Moment #1
All the times that that mysterious, all-consuming fecal smell washed over the polo grounds. “I can assure you it wasn’t anyone in the band,” said the Verve’s Richard Ashcroft when it wafted in during their set.

Best Context-Free Quote
“I f*cked you.” – Sean Penn

Most Glamorous Star Sighting
British beauty Sienna Miller, shaking a fist at the Hot Chip set.

Least Cool Moment #2
When that skinny hippie kid got the shit kicked out of him by five gangster-looking dudes in the middle of Roger Waters’ set. Witnesses said the kid had apparently sold his assailants bad acid. Ironic bonus: It happened during “Wish You Were Here.”

Grooviest Facial Hair
Black Lips bassist Jared Swilley’s handlebar mustache, and Gogol Bordello singer Eugene Hutz’s … handlebar mustache.

Most Ubiquitous C-List Celebrity
That one guy — what’s his name? From The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? We think he was in 24 too, maybe? God, what is his name?

Biggest Regret
That when some 17-year-old kid asked if we had any E he could buy during Vampire Weekend’s set, we had to say no. Sorry, kid. Maybe next year.