American Idol Scorecard: Too Much Beatles
Last week's Lennon/McCartney night was the most entertaining episode of the season, filled with surprises (Chikezie steps it up! Archuleta forgets lyrics!), greatness (David Cook is a rock star!) and horribleness (Kristy Lee Cook is not smart!). Last night's opportunistic Beatles retread, on the other hand, was frustratingly mediocre. Even worse: soulless whiz kid Archuleta turned in the night's best performance. Here's our take on who lost and gained ground while downgrading the Fab Four (watch all of the performances here):
David Archuleta: He has the depth of a Care Bear on Xanax, but he worked the "serious" face to maximum effect with "The Long and Winding Road." Lennon would cringe; Manilow would cheer.
Jason Castro: He thought the "my belle" in "Michelle" was English, i.e., "Michelle, my bell." To reiterate, he thought Paul was comparing his love to a bell. Never thought we'd say this but, dude, cut back on the weed. 
Chikezie: If at first you succeed, repeat yourself until the judges get sick of it!
David Cook: His brilliant process: 1) Pick a song. 2) Type the name of the song into YouTube. 3) Look for the most hair metal version of the song. 4) Perform said hair metal version of the song while acting like an '80s rock star. 5) End up in Dial Idol's Top 5.
Kristy Lee Cook: She squirts vinegar in her horse's face. She never heard "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" before last week. She came off like a (terrible) Cher impersonator during her performance. She loses.
Michael Johns: "A Day in the Life" was easily one of the worst song choices of the season. A spirited take on "Don't Let Me Down" could've made him a front runner again.
Ramiele Malubay: If she's going to continue to disappoint like this, she may as well get the ax.
Syesha Mercado: Realized you can't lose by performing a really famous Beatles song in a really conventional way. Still hard to shake her desperate actress vibe, though.
Amanda Overmyer: "It's a hell of a lot better than the flatbed trucks I'm used to playing on," said the should-be pro wrestler after her first performances on the Idol stage. She scares us.
Carly Smithson: We still don't get her appeal, but "the Irish girl" did get Randy to break out some interesting new slang: "the cooliosis factor." Somewhere, Coolio is thinking he's more important than he is.
Brooke White: Get a guitar in front of her post-haste.
