1. HAVE A BOY IN EVERY PORT
“As a sophisticated woman, you should have business in both Los Angeles and New York, and summer in Paris. You can’t just take an L.A. guy to Paris and expect him to know what the 6th arrondissement is. He would just take you directly to the Eiffel Tower with the rest of the tourists.”

2. STICK TO A TIGHT SCHEDULE
“Guys like to surprise you. Girls don’t like surprises. Which is why a precise calendar is important if you’re going to be an international player. You’ll need it color-coded. If you do get surprised, just let the other one out the back door. Always have a back door. And a laundry chute!”

3. KEEP YOUR PICS RATED P.G.
“Be particular about how you pose for photos, because the suggestive ones end up being tagged on Facebook. Trouble! We live in a world where you wake up and your whole diary from last night is on the Internet. You don’t even have to be a celebrity. You are your own paparazzi!”

4. DO NOT GIVE HIM A DRESSER DRAWER
“They can never leave their stuff! I was bringing back the things an old boyfriend left at my house, and I accidentally returned something that wasn’t his. He saw it, and he’s like, ‘This isn’t mine!’ And it’s like, ‘Well, it certainly could have been. I mean, you all wear Fruit of the fucking Loom!’”