Five are musicians, six are businessmen, two are inanimate objects and quite a few are utterly nuts — they are music's most reprehensible liars, cheaters, scammers, and shysters. Lock your front door, hide your valuables and keep the cat in a safe place as Blender introduces you to rock's rottenest apples ever!
15.
HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE"The Man"Shadowy figure bent on harshing world's mellowRap Sheet: A never-photographed but enormously powerful individual hell-bent on hassling, taxing and jailing our musical heroes through such agencies as the INS and FBI, both of which harassed John Lennon in the early '70s, and the IRS, which has put the pinch on Chuck Berry, Willie Nelson and James Brown.
The Man's influence even extends abroad, as Rolling Stones's Mick Jagger and Keith Richards discovered when they were busted for narcotics at Richards's estate in England in 1967. Note: The Man is not to be confused with his drug-dealing cousin of the same name, for whom Lou Reed has been patiently "waiting" since the mid-'60s.
The Defense: The Man has shown himself equally keen in busting such truly dangerous characters as Gary Glitter, Suge Knight and Charles Manson.
Quote: "Ain't no God in Mexico, ain't no comfort in the can/When you're down in Matamoros getting busted by the Man."—Waylon Jennings
14.
BOY-BAND BARONLou PearlmanBrought you Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, O-TownRap Sheet: The Dr. Frankenstein of boy bands, Pearlman gave the world the Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync and O-Town — which alone would justify his inclusion on this list, even without the frequent accusation that "Big Papa" treated his charges in a less-than-paternal manner.
'N Sync began a bitter legal battle against Pearlman in 1999, claiming he "took advantage of our trust." In 1998, the Backstreet Boys filed a lawsuit alleging that in the preceding five years, they had received only $300,000 in royalties. Boys's singer Brian Littrell was forced to delay crucial surgery on his heart because of touring commitments.
The Defense: Pearlman was cleared of allegations that he broke child-labor laws in his treatment of boy band Take 5.
Quote: "Uh … without saying too much … yes. What number is he?" [
Blender tells him 14.] "That works."—Justin Timberlake, on whether Pearlman's inclusion on this list was justified.
13.
SUPREME BITCHDiana RossThat's "Miss Ross" to you, buddy.Rap Sheet: The narcissism of Miss Ross (reportedly the only name she allows her underlings to call her) is legendary. In 1973, original Supreme Florence Ballard launched an unsuccessful lawsuit charging that Ross and Motown supremo Berry Gordy had conspired to bilk her out of royalties, and that the pair "maliciously plotted" to remove her from the trio.
In 2000, Ross attempted to organize a Supremes reunion tour; when her former bandmates turned her down (they were due to be paid a fifth of Ross's salary), she went ahead with the tour, joined by two ex-Supremes who had joined the group after she had left.
The Defense: Although Ross made a showy, tasteless entrance at Ballard's funeral, she did set up trust funds for the singer's three children.
Quote: "I want an autobiography without revealing any personal information whatsoever."—Ross, to prospective publisher Jackie Onassis.
12.
FILTHY LUCREMoneyThe root of all evilRap Sheet: From Pink Floyd's "Money" to Jay-Z's "Money Ain't a Thang," the greenback has long obsessed musicians. Sadly, attainment of wealth rarely has a good effect on stars' careers — they become distracted by drugs, vanity record imprints, building home studios and, in the case of aging Brits Roger Daltrey and Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson, fish farms.
Financial considerations have also been behind many unwanted musical reunions (including New Kids on the Block circa
2008) and countless band breakups. Worse, cash-related murders wiped out several Jamaican reggae stars, including the Wailers' Peter Tosh, who was shot to death by burglars.
The Defense: Stars can actually do good with their fortunes. Pink Floyd's David Gilmour has given generously to Crisis, a British charity for the homeless. And since 2000, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have donated a quarter of their tour profits to various philanthropic causes.
Quote: "I'm going to build a shrine to myself, and then every dollar is going to be tax-free."—Gene Simmons
11.
THE KINGMAKERColonel Tom ParkerThe original puppet masterRap Sheet: Elvis Presley's manager was actually a Dutchman named Andreas van Kujik, who came to the U.S. at age 17 and developed a carnival act in which chickens "danced" on a straw-covered hot plate. He began managing Presley in 1955, and swiftly steered the King to fame. In time, however, his ruthless pursuit of money had adverse consequences for Presley's career, as Parker forced him to appear in increasingly dreadful movies for Hollywood producer Hal Wallis.
Presley's estate sued Parker after the King's death in 1977. A court found the colonel malfeasant in his administration of the star's affairs. He died in 1997 of complications from a stroke.
The Defense: Before going into management, Parker would dress up as Santa Claus at Christmastime and give puppies to children.
Quote: "He got a helluva kick out of getting someone to pick up the check. Or out of just beating you in a deal — any kind of deal."—Country guitarist Chet Atkins