The indestructible Rolling Stones guitarist on the worst jail cell he's ever been in, the proper use of a knife and what he really did with his dad's ashes.

In 1967 in court after the drug bust in which he was discovered by British police in the company of a girl clad only in a fur rug, Keith Richards famously told the prosecution, "We are not old men, and we’re not worried about petty morals." There were cheers from the gallery; he was sent to Wormwood Scrubs prison for his trouble.
Forty years later, sitting in a suite at New York’s Carlyle Hotel, the hardest-living man in show business suggests that time may have finally caught up with him. "I’m a really straight old man now," he growls-though the pirate’s leer from beneath his bandanna hints at a certain lack of sincerity.
Despite recently turning 64, and in 2006 undergoing brain surgery after falling from a tree in Fiji, he’s still enthusiastically swirling the ice in a cocktail he’s dubbed Nuclear Waste—a mix of vodka and Sunkist orange soda he started drinking because his stomach couldn’t take the Rebel Yell anymore—and working his way slowly through a pack of full-strength Marlboros. He remains bracingly frank about his romantic appeal ("the most beautiful women in the world are attracted to ugliness-as long as you’ve got a good tongue. Heh heh") and keen to endorse his favorite firearms ("a .38 Smith & Wesson Airweight revolver—that’s the fucking gun. No safety on it"). And his stage presence remains undiminished: In the new Martin Scorsese–directed Rolling Stones concert film, Shine a Light, the solo turn Richards takes on his ballad "You Got the Silver" is the highlight of the movie: "Bless yer ’eart, pal," he says when apprised of this by Blender. "I turned it into a piece of theater."
As for the drugs, he insists he’s always been more careful than you might think. "I never took anything without researching what it was," he says. Though he does add one thing: "I’ve got to admit—sometimes, I probably overdid it."
Which one of your own lyrics are you most proud of?
Decemberkid_62, Duluth, GA