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 Last we heard from DMX, he was dropping the F-bomb in court after
copping a guilty plea in a Miami for buying coke and weed. (Though let the record show, this was not nearly as compelling as that time he decided to freestyle a song outside a Phoenix courthouse: "Drop something, stop fretting, pick that ... back up, stand for something or fall for everything…")
This year alone he's been arrested seven or so times for alleged driving-related infractions, animal cruelty, and drugsdrugsdrugs. Busy man. But apparently not too busy to chat with Complex magazine—which rescued the rapper from his existential malaise by way of a kerrazy, ribald interview. (Dark Man X is currently recording Walk With Me Now and You'll Fly With Me Later. Yes, two albums—the dude's clearly got a lot on his mind.) Some of the more demure highlights:
On his criminal aspirations: "I wanted to be the best criminal in the world. At 14, I was drawing up plans just to rob the local grocery store. Serious bank shit."
On his ruff ryding: "I was only doing like 80. But 80 is slow in a fucking Ferrari, you know what I'm saying?"
On groupies: "Is that a serious question? With as many baby mothers as I got, what do you think?" Then, "What is a groupie?"
On boudoir decorum: "I don't even listen to music when I'm fuckin'. I don't have sex. I fuck…. You know what I'm saying? Toss, catch, fuck. Roll over, catch, fuck, you know what I'm saying?" |
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 << The new American Idol judge is BFFs with Nick Lachey. [Billboard]
+ You'll never guess who Madonna is voting for ... [The Daily Swarm]
+ DMX contemplates escaping jail to eat a Big Mac. Damn Special Sauce! [TMZ]
+ We could listen to Young Jeezy talk about Michael Phelps for hours [Nah Right]:
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 DMX
"I Wish" [ft. Seal]
You gotta wonder what one-hit-wonder Skee-Lo is doing right now. Probably still wishing he was a little taller ... and a little richer. And, if he can afford an internet connection, he should be more than a little pissed about DMX stealing his one-hit swagger with this newly leaked track. While Skee made a bevy of playful wishes back in 1995, DMX is taking things more seriously. "I wish upon a star," he starts, wishfully. But the line everyone will talk about is slightly more controversial: "I wish the Ku Klux Klan didn't own Snapple." Even though it's based on a debunked rumor from the early '90s, the line is easily DMX's best in ages. Not only is it completely out of nowhere, it lends credence to the notion of X as a hip-hop version of Mel Gibson's Conspiracy Theory character. And, as if that wasn't random enough, we get Seal (!) on the hook — and he sounds oddly invigorated. Now we're just wishing for Skee-Lo on the remix so the world can die a happy death.
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 << A riot breaks out at an Indiana University frat house when cops shut down a DMX concert prematurely. Sounds like the plot to Animal House 2: The Reckoning. [Def Sounds]
+ Prejudge the new Weezer LP based on this tantalizing 30-second clip of first single "Pork and Beans." Could that be a n old-school Weezer hook we're hearing?!
+ Bummer: Bill Cosby will not rap on the much-touted Bill Cosby "rap" album. [Billboard]
+ On the flipside, Heidi Montag "rapped" on TRL yesterday. She is the least self-aware person on earth:
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WHO: DMX
WHAT: "Already"
WHY: It's like a Chappelle parody of a DMX song, but instead of being funny it's just sad. Sample nonsense so fake it has to be real: "Try this but don't do dat (already!)/ You can do this but dont do dat (already!)." Enough (already!).
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 << Quote of the Day! DMX's reaction upon hearing a man named Barack Obama is running for President of the United States: "Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the screw, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, 'Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit.'" [XXL]
+ Drummer Ola Brunkert, who helped ABBA bring countless hits to life while on tour with the Swedish group, died as a result of a freak window accident at his home in Spain. He was 62. [CNN]
+ Ashlee Simpson's much-delayed, hit-starved new album, Bittersweet World, will finally come out on April 22 ... probably. [Billboard] + Heather Mills receives $48 million in her divorce settlement from Paul McCartney — a tad below the nearly $250 million she was gunning for. [Time] |
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