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 << What it looks like inside Madonna's vagina (surprisingly SFW). [Racked]
+ American Idol winner David Cook says he's not trying to be Daughtry. Well, yeah — everyone knows he's trying to be the lead singer of the Verve Pipe. [MTV]
+ Generally crappy rapper Yung Berg just got a billion times more interesting thanks to his irrational fear of sandwiches. [Grub Street]
+ The upcoming documentary about the insane life and times of Motörhead lead singer Lemmy Kilmister will feature ass kissing from admirers include Dave Grohl, Slash and, um, wrestler Triple H. [Billboard] |
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 David Cook
"Time of My Life"
So, for once, America's endless thirst for Nickelback-style rock works in our favor! David Cook is this year's American Idol and, as you can see, he's currently more popular than Coldplay, Rihanna and every other musician on earth according to iTunes.
Still, even the country's favorite reality show contestant can't turn the
inevitably heinous Idol winning song into something listenable. "I'm out
on the edge of forever — ready to run!" he sings, making utterly no sense. But most of the lyrics are squarely on other side of obviousness —
the song is called "Time of My Life," after all. Also, is Cookie trying
to tell the world something when he sings, "I've been looking for that
magic rainbow on the horizon"? (Remember, he doesn't have a
girlfriend.) Meh, probably not. All that said, though, we're genuinely excited for the
word nerd's big time debut — but please, more "Billy Jean," less "Time of My Life." 
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Fatality:
Illustration by Grant Siedlecki
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As we cross our fingers and listen to 7even
Year Itch: Collective Soul Greatest Hits 1994-2001 in anticipation of a
David Cook win tonight, here are some random observations from last
night's performance show (with handy YouTube links built in):
 << David Archuleta's vocabulary consists of exactly 47 words. At least 20 of those words are variations of the word "gosh."
+ Seacrest is not happy about Michael Buffer handling the show's intro.
+ If he had to go the U2 route, Cook should've sang "With or Without You."
+ Nothing represents the manliness of forced boxing metaphors like Andrew Lloyd Weber.
 << Proof that the judge's comments are premeditated, part one. Paula: "We have found what we're looking for."
+ We hope Jim Lampley was paid handsomely for his fight night "insights."
+ Every original Idol song must include the words "moment" and "my," not necessarily in that order.
+ Randy: "I love Collective Soul."
 << Did Cook really have to roll with the unplugged guitar in the finale?
+
Collective Soul's "The World I Know" is currently at no. 50 on iTunes and rising.
+ Proof that the judge's comments are premeditated, part two. Paula: "The sun will never go down on you."
+ Just remember, whoever wins could be as famous as Ruben Studdard! |
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 From the looks of disgust on Simon Cowell's face this season, it might seem like he despises each of the American Idol contestants with equal vigor. Not true! As Blender has learned, Simon despises one contestant less than the others.
Who do you think deserves to win this season? we asked Simon. "Probably David Cook," he drawled. "I think he's done more to deserve it over the eleven weeks. He's taken more risks, he's done things with certain songs that have been more interesting. If I'm gonna base it on who has done the best performances over the live shows, David Cook deserves to win."
Of course it's also true that Simon is coaching Cook this week, which means he'll sing "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face," a ballad also recorded by Cowell's chart-topping X Factor discovery, Leona Lewis. "I love that song! David Cook didn't even know what it was," Cowell snorted.
For an obnox — uh, opinionated guy like Simon, nothing is more ruinous to good television than boring contestants. He was clearly not pleased with Jason Castro ("He just gave up — I get frustrated over that"). "There was a classic moment last week," Cowell continues unhappily. "We had these callers phone in and I forget what the question was — 'What do you like?' — and they just sat there. They couldn't talk. It was literally un-be-liev-able."
Is it because they're all working to ingratiate themselves with voters? "Of course! It's like they've studied the show and they don't want to put a foot wrong. And that's going to have to change, going forward. I want what I call gobby, talkative people on the show."
So, next season of Idol: gobby, talkative singers. We won't say which contestant Simon finds the most boring, but we will mention this: When told that his Blender interviewer bears a resemblance to David Archuleta, Cowell roared, "I would think you have a bit more personality than he does."
BONUS: Check out our weekly American Idol Scorecard round-up here.
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 We’ve been waiting for one of the remaining twenty-four American Idol contestants to declare themselves the undeniable rock girl/boy in this year’s competition. On last night’s episode, David Cook finally did it. Cook strapped on his electric guitar, swapped his the greasy boy band hair for a less nauseatingly '90s look and turned Lionel Richie’s “Hello” into an instant radio-friendly emo hit.
Hunky Australian Michael Johns still has a shot at becoming the rock-est Idol contestant (as does tattooed Irish goth Carly Smithson and Harley-riding nurse Amanda Overmyer on the girl’s side), but Cook's performance established him as the lead contender for the Rock Idol crown. Where this puts him in the race at large remains to be seen. Could this be the year America finally chooses a real rocker as its Idol? |
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