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 Young love... is there anything more pure and beautiful than young love? No, there isn't. But is there anything more high charged and, well, sweaty?
Yes. Young lust.
Not the Pink Floyd song, of course, but simply the state of naughty things between couple-of-the-year Pete Wentz and his bride Ashlee Simpson. Wentz described some of the more private aspects of his marriage to an eager Howard Stern and his perhaps not-so-eager listeners this week. Perhaps this is one of those instances in which if everything is revealed, interest will fade and people will move on to other matters.
But really, it just seems like Wentz wanted to talk turkey. Here goes. Warning: Sex spoilers ahead:
>>Wentz and Simpson have 'an amazing sex life.'
>>Ashlee gives a 'mean' lap dance, generally in thongs and 'sexy clothes.' [Duh, etc...]
>>Ashlee's post-baby body has seen an increase in breast size, from C cup to D.
>>Ashlee's sister Jessica never figures into fantasy situations, as Wentz thinks of her as a sister. [Awww...]
>>Pete and Ashlee first sexual encounter took place at New York's expensive and hip Soho Hotel, during which Pete followed the action via a mirror and theoretically pinched himself while he no doubt was being pinched in real life.
>>Finally, according to Pete, 'Texas girls are fun.'
Damn - that's a lot of info! Almost Too Much Info. But hey, isn't it nice to see a young couple so into each other? That's love. And those thong-powered lap dances can't hurt, either.
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This morning, we got an email from Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, upcoming cover stars of Blender’s February issue. Wentz puts a lot of miles on his Blackberry – we’re assuming he has an unlimited plan, and it wouldn’t be a shock if FOB had to cancel a tour because Wentz came down with a texting repetitive strain injury.
You can see the email he was sending out, below. For a guy who’s online so much, you would assume that Wentz knows enough email etiquette to hide his cc list, so that nosy people — like, say, Blender — aren’t able to see the names and email addresses in his Blackberry address book. So let’s have a close look and see who is a FOW (Friend of Wentz).
It’s no surprise that the other 224 people copied on the email include Wentz’s mom, in-laws Tina and Joe Simpson, plus wife Ashlee Simpson and Ashlee’s assistant. Pete also sent the email to L.A. Reid, chairman of Island Def Jam, FOB’s label, plus Ryan Seacrest, clothing designer Marc Ecko, a makeup artist, a record producer, a real-estate agent, Hell’s Kitchen runner-up (season three!) Bonnie Muirhead, and various allies at FUSE TV, Sirius satellite radio, MTV, CAA and Jimmy Kimmel Live. There’s a Grammy-podium worth of musician friends: Joel Madden of Good Charlotte, Nick Cannon, Mark Hoppus of blink-182, Chris Cornell, P. Diddy, Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship and Wentz’s besty, John Mayer. The email also went to Wentz’s FOB bandmate Patrick Stump (who uses AOL! OMG!), listed in Wentz’s address book under his birth name, “Patrick Stumph.” There’s also a FOW named David Cook, who may or may not be the American Idol winner and grunge balladeer.
We’ve already spent much of the day going over Wentz’s personal information, including Googling some of his friends. However, it would be highly unethical for us to tell you Ashlee Simpson’s Gmail address. (Hint: It’s not Ashlee.Simpson@gmail.com, or ASimpson@gmail.com, or MrsPeteWentz@gmail.com.) Besides, what have you really got to say to Ryan Seacrest?
Personal to Wentz: Sorry, can’t make it to the art opening tomorrow night. We won’t be in L.A. Double air kiss!
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 As you likely know, Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz and Irish jig purist Ashlee Simpson recently welcomed their first child into the world. The happy even occurred a week ago today. Once the baby is born, everything is checked to see what works, and what doesn't. As far as we know, the baby is healthy and normal.
Great. Next step? Name the shortie. James, perhaps. Maybe John? Or Zach, Steven, Didier, Dimitri, Dalton, Dakota, Daisuke or Dajuan.
Or, um, Bronx. Bronx Mowgli.
Yes, everyone's talking about the unusual handle Pete and Ashlee laid on their little guy. People have been speculating that it's a joke. It's NOT a joke, according to Wentz, who's been talking to Ryan Seacrest:
"It definitely is his name."
OK, roger that. So... Mowgli? As in The Jungle Book? By Rudyard Kipling, noted and brilliant English expat poet and writer, the author of If..., a man who declined knighthood and later earned the ire of Orwell, who somewhat accurately referred to Kipling as the prophet of British imperialism? Um, probably that Kipling, right Pete? But in this Hot Topic world, one must ask, Is Kipling cool?
"Kipling's really cool. 'The Jungle Book' was something that me and Ashlee bonded over, so ... it's a cool name."
Yes! Kipling is, indeed, "cool." And what about 'Bronx'?
"We'd been throwing ["Bronx"] back and forth a while ago. I feel weird because all these people have all these ideas on what it means ... It's kind of cool to leave the narrative what it is."
And that narrative...?
"I don't think anybody knows what the real story is of why or how."
Wait, do you mean you're keeping it secret? Or that not even YOU guys know what it means? Guessing the former?
Fall Out Boy releases their new album, Folie a Deux, on December 16th. Bronx Mowgli is, presumably, right now being burped.
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Pete Wentz has finally (5 days later) called Ryan Seacrest to talk publically about about becoming a father with wife Ashlee Simpson. While he said a lot of the typical things a new celebrity father says, like how his wife is a saint, how it changes everything, and how he was about to have a heart attack during the delivery, there were a few things he said which really make me think that little Bronx Mowgli has one heck of a great life ahead of him. For instance, Pete compared the experience to "opening a new spot in L.A. -- everyone's trying to get in every night!" Yes, that is exactly what it's like! Better get a bouncer because this kid is HOT! Pretty ladies get in quicker, and there will be booze and drugs for everyone!
Also, Pete said that Bronx "is definitely going to come out on tour. We need a whole team of stuff that is going to get him through that." Aaaand, we're eagerly awaiting Bronx's upcoming memoirs in twenty years, entitled I Was Raised On A Fall Out Boy Tour Bus, And I Have Yet To Commit Suicide: I Know, It Surprises Me Too.
Finally, Papa Wentz offered this non-explanation of that terrible name: "I feel weird because all these people have all these ideas on what it means ... I don't think anyone knows the real story of why or how." He's right. NO ONE knows why the hell, or how, someone would name their child Bronx Mowgli - not even he or Ashlee! Because in the end, the name is the LEAST of this kid's problems.
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 + David Bowie: The Musical will begin disenchanting longtime Bowie fans at a Broadway theater soon! (Or, you know, not.) [The Daily Swarm]
+ Some dude made a synthesizer thingie that reacts to his arm muscles.
We have no idea how this contraption works, but it will probably be featured
on Radiohead's next album. [Music Thing]
+ Sensitive Walmart shoppers can rest easy: Nas has "decided" to change
the title of his new album from Nigger to something more simple and boring. [EW]
+ Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz made their eternal bond official last weekend in an
Alice in Wonderland-themed wedding ceremony. Rumor has it Fall Out Boy
lead singer Patrick Stump played the Mad Hatter. [AOL]
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 Ashlee Simpson
"Can't Have It All"
After hearing her forthcoming album, we feel comfortable saying "Can't Have It All" is the best new Ashlee Simpson song
in years. Good news, right? Well, it would be ... if "Can't Have It
All" was on the album. In the latest misstep involving her new record, this song was taken off Bittersweet World at the last
minute and relegated to the wasteland of internet
bonus material. So dumb. We imagine somebody thought the pop-rock song
was deemed too close to Ashlee's old sound and decided it didn't fit
with World's other dance-y new-wave tracks. While this may be true, it hardly justifies ditching the track. With
echoing guitar, a stadium-sized hook and a marching snare and bass
rhythm, this thing sounds like a lost U2 smash. On it, Ashlee ditches her
new club-crazed vixen persona for something more convincing and
realistic. "Looking back now, I can see I made some mistakes," she sings. Too true.
>> Listen to the track here.
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 << If Ashlee Simpson really is pregnant, someone should tell Pete Wentz. [MTV]
+
Hey, ever wonder what a solo piano version of Mariah's "Touch My Body"
would sound like? We didn't, either, but some guy did it anyway.
[YouTube]
+ Matchbox Twenty cancel a rodeo performance because they don't want to
promote animal cruelty. It's just as well since animals were boycotting
the concert because they didn't want to promote cruelty to rock and/or
roll. [The Daily Swarm]
+ Our favorite music-related internet cartoon, The Meth Minute 39,
chronicles the adventures of rock's most popular tax accountant:
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 << Quote of the Day! DMX's reaction upon hearing a man named Barack Obama is running for President of the United States: "Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the screw, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, 'Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit.'" [XXL]
+ Drummer Ola Brunkert, who helped ABBA bring countless hits to life while on tour with the Swedish group, died as a result of a freak window accident at his home in Spain. He was 62. [CNN]
+ Ashlee Simpson's much-delayed, hit-starved new album, Bittersweet World, will finally come out on April 22 ... probably. [Billboard] + Heather Mills receives $48 million in her divorce settlement from Paul McCartney — a tad below the nearly $250 million she was gunning for. [Time] |
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 << The cover of Ashlee Simpson's new record is as disastrously all-over-the-place as expected. It's like a Jackson Pollock comic book ... in space! [Ali's Blog]
+ Unauthorized shots of the brand new American Idol stage reveal it to be even more garish than before. And they said it couldn't be done! [TMZ]
+ Lindsay Lohan puts time in the studio with Ne-Yo ... so expect another "Irreplaceable" clone in six to eight months. [MTV UK]
+ Amy Winehouse Melt Down Watch! The singer continues to clean-up as she shrinks herself and dances with a masked man in the following video: |
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