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 Amy Winehouse, put simply, has been a gift to society. Not only is she blessed with a mindblowing, unique voice, but she has character and attitude. Her daily affairs are the stuff of endless tabloid coverage, and its easy to see why; she is completely mesmerizing.
Also, her boyfriend is hilarious.
Not hilarious in a way a comedian might be hilarious. Nor in the way a completely pathetic person might be hilarious (OK, maybe a little bit hilarious that way).
Really, Blake Fielder-Civil, Mr. Amy Winehouse, is the comic relief in a script that straddles comedy and tragedy. He is a somewhat Falstaffian figure that nonetheless also employs what Robertson Davies once broadly outlined as fifth business: 'a character of an opera who has no opposite: the odd man out—neither heroine nor her lover, rival nor villain—yet essential to the plot' (w-pedia).
Fielder-Civil is around, but he isn't. You see, he has been in jail for over a year now, locked up on an assault and obstruction of justice conviction. This, of course, means that he and his beloved Amy have been apart.
So imagine Winehouse's pure frustration when she wasn't even around for Blake's brief foray into The World. Fielder-Civil was released from prison in Suffolk, England, and immediately transported to a rehab facility. How is his mood?
He is reflective and sober: "It's tough inside, bloody horrible. But I'm out and that's all that matters. It's brilliant."
He is politically aware: "It's a welcome to the free world for me and Barack Obama. I heard about the US election on the car radio. It's got to be good news."
He is horny: "Now all I want to do is see Amy. I'm gonna see my wife and take her knickers down."
Blake Fielder-Civil: out of jail! And thus reporters headed to Winehouse's London flat to capture a reaction. A pissed Winehouse lunged at the scribes and photogs. Her father held her back, robbing Winehouse of the opportunity to assault people just as her husband is semi-released from prison where he was held due to an assault conviction. Jungians might attribute this to synchronicity, but really, to paraphrase the Boston Red Sox, it's just Amy being Amy.
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 << Amy Winehouse wins another award! This time it's for Celeb Most
Likely to Appear in Brits' Nightmares! Break out the Ambien! [NME]
+ Blues guitarist Von Johin — who cultivated his burgeoning fanbase on
virtual reality game Second Life — signs a record deal. The virtual
royalties will start rolling in in no time. [Wired]
+ Since he can't get any bigger, Kanye West is trying to super size his
fan base by opening a Fatburger (real name) in Chicago. [Def Sounds]
+ It might be a couple years until we hear new music from My Chemical
Romance but, when it surfaces, the album will be "stripped-down" but
"progressive," according to front man Gerard Way. For more vague
adjectives in reference to music that does not yet exist, please read
this story. [MTV]
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 << The hype machine is already going into overdrive in anticipation of
Jay-Z's upcoming album, The Blueprint 3, which could feature several
tracks produced by Kanye West. Listen to the West-produced first single, "Jockin' Jay-Z
(Dope Boy Fresh)" here. [Nah Right]
+ Break out the apocalypse gear: Clay Aiken is a dad. [AOL]
+ Soundgarden reunite over gooey icing. [The Onion]
+ Amy Winehouse claims producers of the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, rejected her proposed theme
song because they want something "clean-cut and boring" (read:
intelligible). [NME]
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 << A slew of famous album covers (The Beatles' Let It Be, Nirvana's Nevermind and, um, Cradle of Filth's Cruelty and the Beast) get Lego-ized.
+
The terribly titled new bond film, Quantum of Solace, will feature an
awesomely titled new duet by Jack White and Alicia Keys called "Another
Way to Die." [Billboard]
+
A million bloggers smack themselves on the head for not thinking of
constipation concert photo-themed site Stage Dumps first. [Sound of the
City]
+ Amy Winehouse
Melt Down Watch! The singer spends the night in a hospital after "an
adverse reaction to medication." So that's what they're calling it now ... [AOL] |
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In celebration of Hump Day, please give us your 2 cents on the following...
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 << Amy Winehouse Melt Down Watch! The troubled singer ditches the smoky
soul that made her famous and tries to break into the decidedly dicier Racist Jingle genre with a new track. [News of the World]
+ Pharrell
takes his whole space explorer obsession to the next level by
scheduling an astronaut trek with billionaire boys club honcho Richard Branson. [MTV UK]
+
T.I. preps a song about silk pocket squares for his upcoming LP. Good
to know he's spending his time wisely while waiting to start that
jail stint in 2009. [MTV]
+ Watch up and coming R&B singer-pianist Ryan Leslie turn Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" into a Yanni song right before your very eyes: |
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 << Amy
Winehouse Melt Down Watch! It's been a while but Amy is making more absurd
headlines. This time, she was arrested for allegedly punching a dude who got in
her way while she was playing pool. We're going to have to take her
side on this one. [MTV]
+ The hidden subtext of famed couplets by the likes of 50 Cent, Eminem and Ice-T are finally exposed in this list of the Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever. [Cracked]
+ Kanye West and Jonah Hill could never be friends in real life. [Kanye West Blog]
+ Eternally livid rapper David Banner plans to release what should be
the angriest work-out video since Tony Little's Private Session: World
Class Buns & Legs. [Billboard]
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 << The cover of Ashlee Simpson's new record is as disastrously all-over-the-place as expected. It's like a Jackson Pollock comic book ... in space! [Ali's Blog]
+ Unauthorized shots of the brand new American Idol stage reveal it to be even more garish than before. And they said it couldn't be done! [TMZ]
+ Lindsay Lohan puts time in the studio with Ne-Yo ... so expect another "Irreplaceable" clone in six to eight months. [MTV UK]
+ Amy Winehouse Melt Down Watch! The singer continues to clean-up as she shrinks herself and dances with a masked man in the following video: |
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 WHO: Mark Ronson [ft. Adele, Daniel Merriwether and Amy Winehouse]
WHAT: Mark Ronson Medley (Brit Awards)
WHY: While horn-loving producer Ronson is becoming more insufferable by the minute (that double-necked guitar — dude, who are you, fucking Steve Vai?!), this Ronson-a-thon from last night's Brit Awards is saved by an exceptional appearance by a certain rehab-prone tabloid mainstay. Here, Winehouse seems more composed and confident than she did at the Grammys as she belts out her cover of the Zutons' "Valerie." (Though, admittedly, it's hard to tell if she's dancing awkwardly or on the verge of falling over during much of the performance.) Given the singer's increasingly impressive comeback, we can't believe believe her hard-to-watch, pipe-smoking web video hit the web less than a month ago. Now, they just need to figure out how to keep her dirt bag husband behind bars and a new Amy album could be out in no time.
Ronson Bit:
Winehouse Bit:
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 << Aretha Franklin bitches out Beyoncé for her Tina Turner worship at the Grammys — there can only be one Queen. [AP]
+ If this tremendously awkward snippet from Lily Allen's new talk show is any indication, the sassy singer should probably stick to singing sassily. [The Daily Swarm]
+ The next stage of Amy Winehouse's miraculous recovery involves low-cut tops. [TMZ] + It's official: Feist is hip-hop's pasty chanteuse of the moment. [Kanye West Blog] |
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